Inglorious Basterds

Dear Mr. Tarantino:

Let me first start this letter by telling you that I really admire the work you did on the film “Reservoir Dogs.” When I saw that movie as a kid I was amazed, and I still regard it as one of my favorite movies to this day. It is brilliant in its simplicity, and truly if you had never made another movie I would have forever regarded you as a genius. I wish you would consider making more movies like that, but instead my heart has been broken too many times by you with your subsequent films. I can safely say you haven’t made a good movie since “Jackie Brown.” You can only coast so far on the good will you engendered with “Pulp Fiction.” Your most recent abortion, “Inglorious Basterds,” was the last straw for me. I refuse to suck your dick which so many people can't get enough of. One day the spell that’s been cast over them will be broken, and on that day I hope you will come to your senses and make the good film that I know you have in you somewhere. It is incredibly disenchanting to see your star fade. Your contemporary Robert Rodriguez has only gotten better at making films, while you have slowly gotten worse. I don’t know how many times I can watch you make the same movie. Your bag of tricks is empty. And slowly but surely you have gone from being referential to self referential, a quality that highlights your lack of originality. I am sad for you.

Here was my experience watching your latest film. When I first heard years ago that you were making a war movie I can’t describe to you how excited I was. In the wake of your early films I can’t think of something I would have wanted to see more than for you to make a war film. But instead you decided not to make a war film but to make a western… again. In the first few minutes of the film my disappointment turned to frustration as the film became more and more boring. I have a feeling that somewhere along the way you were told so many times that you have a gift for writing dialogue that you stopped working hard to get better. You rested on your laurels and now your dialogue is tedious. Cut to the fucking chase, sir. The first hour or more of the film was full of too much unnecessary back story. It is one thing to set the stage, but it is another to waste my time. Another thing I used to find charming but now find distasteful is your incessant need to remind everyone just how much you know about movies. We get it, you know a lot, please for the love of god stop shoving it in our faces. The next disappointment came when I realized that your supposed war movie contained little to no actual war. Instead there are a series of stand offs and brutal scalpings, gratuitous flashbacks with no suspense. This was my fault for expecting a movie about World War 2 to actually have some battles or something in it.

While the concept of a western set during the war may have peaked my interest slightly, the result shows exactly why that is a bad idea. Your lack of understanding of the complexity of that war astounded me. Murder is nothing to treat so lightly. And while your early films used excessive graphic violence, somehow it was never so out of place as in this film… a war film. You glorify the brutality of the Jewish people as some way of rewriting history to make them into bad asses. But they were actually brutalized, and the truth is there were Jewish heroes during and after the war and none of them became as morally bankrupt as the Nazi’s. How can I root for characters that are no better than their enemy? I don't know if there is room for an anti-hero in World War 2. There is nothing righteous about murder or revenge, the only thing righteous is justice. Your ‘Bear Jew’ will never compare to the real heroic efforts of a man like Simon Wiesenthal.

But I digress because I was able to find some things in this movie that did not offend my eyes or my brains. I found the actor playing the Jew hunter to be outstanding. And about an hour and a half into the movie it stopped being so incredibly boring. At this point I decided it would be fascinating to see just how the events you set into motion would pan out. I mean there are only two possible outcomes, either the plan to kill Hitler will succeed which is totally preposterous, or the plan will be foiled which will be quite a challenge. But alas, when the ending came I once again sighed a sigh so heavy the weight of shear disappointment crushed my spirit. I never thought I would defend the movie “Valkyrie,” a film that I did not particularly like, but your film makes “Valkyrie” look like a masterpiece. I feel incredibly sorry for all the high school history teachers who will spend years correcting teenagers assumptions that your film is historically accurate. You have done a disservice to the real soldiers who actually ended the war. I hope I am wrong; I hope I never encounter a person who thinks the war was ended the way it appears in your film, because on that day I will have lost all faith in humanity.

I understand that your film was intended to be a farce. Perhaps a way of mocking the war, the Nazi's and Hitler, to make them into fools like they are portrayed in a war-time issue of "Captain America." But the war is over. You can't humiliate someone who's dead and only the misguided idolize. What ever humor was to be found in the absurdity of your film was sucked out of the room by absolute boredom. You are no longer as funny or clever as you think you are.

Where do we go from here, Mr. Tarantino? I do not wish to part ways like this but I can no longer indulge your flights of fancy. How you were able to be nominated for an award in filmmaking for this is disheartening. I wish you all the best of luck in your future endeavors and I harbor no ill will toward you personally, but I am afraid this might be the last time I see one of your films. I will forever cherish “Reservoir Dogs,” it is a seminal work and it is my sincere hope that you will one day return to your former greatness. Until then, I say thank you for your earlier work and farewell.