Sex in the City 2

I decided this would be my first ever live movie review. The reason is partly because I'm so bored I need something to do and partly because I already made a judgment of this film within the first ten minutes. It is for this reason that it will probably not be my best writing. Clearly the writers of this movie didn't care about quality either, (ZING!). As you probably know “Sex and the City” was a popular show turned movie, this is the sequel “Sex and the City 2” about the four ladies, now married and old and going on a Middle Eastern adventure. Like millions of heterosexual males I was dragged to see this movie by my girlfriend. And as bad as I was expecting it to be, it's a trillion times worse.

Everything is so over the top. Not one piece of dialogue is honest or even witty, try as they might with sad, disastrous results. Every single joke just made me sigh; it’s an insult to comedy. One too many gay sex puns for me, it's not clever and it’s not funny. If I could boo at the screen without my girlfriend getting pissed off I would. Its hard for me to believe anyone could appreciate this film, I don’t want to sound condescending but this movie is the equivalent of giving a baby something shinny to play with, the baby is the rest of the people in the theater with me and the shinny toy is clothes and shoes and money and liquor and a lifestyle none of us will ever achieve.

I've never been so bored so fast. If you are not a gay guy or a girl this film will be hell on earth for you. This could easily have been a TV movie; they just used all that extra money to show off. It's like they took everything superficial about the show and exaggerated it and took away anything with any substance or anything meaningful. Not that the show was so insightful to begin with if you ask me, they took something mediocre and made it crappy. It is now clear to me that aside from obvious anatomical differences, men and women are completely different. If you are a lady and you are reading this please please please write a review of this film and tell me why it's good. In fact I will put my girlfriend’s notes at the bottom of this so you can get a female perspective. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think men are smarter than women, my girlfriend is super smart, but how could someone as smart as my girlfriend like something so obviously terrible? It's like this movie is speaking another language that she understands but I don't. I am clearly not at all qualified to review something like this; it is beyond my tiny male brain. To me this is the single worst film I've seen all year. Not even the gratuitous tits are enough to hold my attention.

If I hear the word “vintage” one more time I think blood will shoot out of my eyes. So now as I'm typing my girlfriend seems a little upset that I'm not paying attention and instead am writing a review on my iPhone. The worst thing about this film, which is laughable, is the whole Middle East premise. If those women went to Abu Dhabi they would be instantly called whores, covered in gasoline and lit on fire. In fact they weren't actually allowed to film there because of that fact, the movie was instead filmed in Morocco. Now tell me why they would insist on perpetuating this myth about Abu Dhabi as some oasis in the sand when in reality those women would not even have the right to exist let alone anything else. How much sense does that make? Fuck this movie for that one single act of purposeful ignorance.

I think I've dedicated entirely too much thought too this piece of shit but I guess it's better than having to pay attention. No matter what the end is, it’s reached the point of no return; this film is 100% awful. PROVE ME WRONG LADIES!!! Wrote a review that convinces me this movie was not a total shit fest and I'll eat my own shoe.

NOTE: Thoughts from Adam’s girlfriend, Amy Stickel:

-The first movie touched me emotionally; the scene with Carrie and Big outside the church is simply heartbreaking. I cared about the problems with Miranda and Steve, Charlotte, and Samantha. The second movie lacked all the emotion.

-I felt that the second movie’s story did not have much to it. It was a very long movie but nothing happened. The first movie was just as long but many things that I cared about and found enjoyable happened.

-I also found the corny jokes that I loved in the show and first movie to be a little too corny and not funny.

-I really liked Smith and Aiden’s characters and I didn’t like how they brought them back in the movie.

-There was little to no actual sex and the husbands were barely in the movie.

-I found the scene with the women in the burka's taking off their outfits to reveal fashionable clothes to be quite unrealistic.

-The fashion itself was a little too ridiculous in this one. I feel like I’m as fashionable as the next girl but there’s no way in this world that I would wear any of the outfits the girls were in (except maybe that blue dress with the large jewels that Charlotte wore in the bar). Miranda’s outfits were the most ridiculous.

-I didn’t dislike everything; I liked the gay wedding and Liza Minnelli. I liked the bit about Samantha going through menopause. There were a few funny jokes and I also liked the scenery.