Legion

January is infamous for being regarded as the landfill for the motion picture industry. Typically, a horror film released during this particular month is a bad sign in itself. One that is released during this particular month without being screened for critics? You’d be better off spending the evening watching syndicated sitcoms on Nick-At-Night.

“Legion” is the latest feature to join the junk yard encumbered with countless bi-products that have been left to rot on studio shelves. What’s unusual? It’s not near as worthless as a majority of the cinematic disasters that have claimed this particular month as their home. In fact, it manages to break the barrier between a movie that’s a sheer waste of time and one that’s surprisingly entertaining. The latter is certainly more appropriate considering the film’s not an utter pile of garbage, however, it’s still packed with countless flaws ranging from plot-holes to merely bad acting.

This is your typical end-of-the-world flick in which the fate of mankind lies in the hands of an unborn child. Think “Terminator” or even “Children of Men”. Both of these films give an in depth explanation as to why these children are so special. In “Legion”, however, it’s never made real clear and that in itself is a disappointing factor that effects the movie on a grand level.

Getting back on topic, the unborn child belongs to a pregnant waitress who works at a rundown diner inside of a gas station in a town called Paradise Falls. For her, it’s just a ordinary day of work, fighting with her boyfriend (it’s never really explained what his relationship is with our protagonist) and experiencing cramps. Soon, however, she and a small group of people ranging from customers to employees lose signal to the outside world. If that’s not startling enough, a grandma from hell swings from the ceiling like a spider-monkey screaming “You’re all going to burn!” after tearing a chunk out of a character’s neck with her teeth before being blown away by a shotgun. Not long after, arch-angel Michael arrives with a police car loaded with guns and ammo and warns them they’re in grave danger.

The story-line for “Legion” is so damn confusing that it’s complicated to even attempt to explain it with words. With that said, it should come as no surprise that the film is a flood of disappointments from start to finish. First, the angels have absolutely no special capabilities outside that of an ordinary human being, unless of course, you count the wings, but even those aren’t showcased until the final few moments and aside from blocking a few bullets and slicing through Dennis Quaid‘s character, there’s nothing really spectacular about them. Next, the special effects are cheesy as hell. One scene in particular involves an ice cream truck driver who’s arms extend like a superhero. It’s not a bad idea, however, it looks like his arms were created using play-do. Finally, while there are dozens of flaws that come to mind, the biggest comes down to the lack of explanation. There’s really no clear reason as to why these events are taking place. While the writers attempt to take elements from the bible, almost all of their references are so far off that it takes away the realism. Then again, the concept for “Legion” is so far over-the-top that a patient at an insane asylum wouldn’t even buy into it.

With all that said, “Legion” still manages to keep us interested. While we have no idea what the hell is going on, there’s still just enough action to keep us from falling asleep. Sure the film won’t be memorable a week from now, but at least we don’t feel like we simply wasted our money. It’s far from popcorn entertainment but it’s not a movie you’ll watch and beat your head against a wall afterwards for actually spending money to see it.